"Help me! Help me!" The urgent cries were coming from a woman on porch the house we were running past at that moment. We had just been running down the street, but when we heard the woman's cries, we were afraid she was hurt, or had a little kid who was hurt or something. So we stopped to see what was going on. The woman crawled off the porch. "There are men hiding under the porch with guns!" Wow. This run day just got crazy.

It was Wednesday, and it was around 6:45 am. We were doing our weekly morning run. About three minutes before the scene described above, I made this statement. "Guys, the blog last week was boring. We need something crazy to happen so I have something to write about." Suggestions were offered about ways to make crazy things happen, but none of them were taken seriously, because they involved endangering our lives. Well, it was starting to look like our lives were in danger anyway.

"There are men under the porch with guns!" The lady told us. "They're trying to shoot me through the floor. Help me. Please." We took a look around the porch. It was cinder block. There were no openings and there was no way to get underneath it.

"I think you're safe," Mark said. "There's no one under your porch."

We started to walk away but the woman freaked out. "No! They'll kill me! You have to stay and get help. Please." She was very jumpy and wouldn't look any of us in the eye when she was talking to us. Whether it be a mental condition or drugs, this lady was not all there.

We tried to explain that there was no one under the porch, and there really was no way we could stay AND get help at the same time. None of us had phones and didn't really know what to tell this lady. Since she wouldn't let us go to the neighbor's house to use the phone (the men might be hiding in the houses, she told us,) we told her again that she was safe and we were going to leave.

"If you leave," she said "you will all be responsible for MY DEATH."

The guilt card. She had played the guilt card. It was at this moment that I began to wonder if she was actually knew that she was making everything up. But Kevin, Mitch and Mark, jogged off to go find a phone and call the police. The rest of us stayed around and tried to keep the woman calm.

The longer we talked to this woman, the more extravagant and bizarre her story got. She lived a few blocks away, but for some reason, in the middle of the night she had to run away to escape from these men who wanted to kill her. She had hid on the porch for three hours (she had slept there for a little while too) while she waited and listened for the men. (This wasn't her house, she was hiding/sleeping on some random person's porch.) She could hear what they were saying because she had found one of their headsets (she showed me a Bluetooth) and that's how she knew when to roll over on the porch. She had had a flashlight that made cricket noises, but the men took it and played it really loudly the entire time she was laying on the porch. The men also had her son, and were going to kill him if they didn't kill her. They had told her not to leave the house, or she would go to jail for two days (she was being set up). Every once in a while she would ask us if we were with "them" or if we knew who "they" were. We assured her that we had no association with these people and that everything would be fine. But this lady was far from fine.

Kevin was walking back from trying to find a phone. The woman was sure that Kevin was one of "them", even though he had been with us at the start. We convinced her Kevin was safe, and she calmed down. Then she saw a kid walking to school. "He's one of them," she said. "Yes, he's one of them."

"That's just a kid going to school. He's fine," I said.

"Look how he's walking. He's got a gun," the woman said. She began to fidget even more.

"Kids walk that way these days," Jake said.

Finally, the police came. The officer came and listened to the woman tell pretty much the same story that she told us, except this time, she said then men told her she would have gone to jail for two years.

I gave the officer a "I think this is woman is crazy" look and gave me a "you're right" look. "You guys can go now," he told us. "I dealt with this earlier today." (According to the woman who let Mark and Mitch use her phone, the police had been out at about 1:30 am that same morning, and had pretty much the same experience.)

The rest of this week went on without incident. We raced at Otterbein this weekend, and that went pretty well. Otterbein is usually a fairly fast race. The course was a little muddy, but, considering all the rain we had, it wasn't that bad. Our team came in 9th out of 13 teams this weekend and CJ set a PR. This Friday, we have the All-Ohio Race at Cedarville. There will be 50 or 60 schools in this race because almost every school in Ohio runs in it. Cedarville is a faster course than Otterbein, so we are looking forward to running even faster this week.

Some teammates! (Juniors)

Name: Anthony Lee

Hometown: Massillon, OH

Major: Sports Management/Exercise Studies

Favorite Food: Chicken parmesan

Favorite XC Course: Trumball County Fairgrounds

Favorite Movie: The Matrix Trilogy

Favorite Running Quote: "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift." - Steve Prefontaine

Crazy Running Story: Back in high school, I almost got run over by the school van while we were warming up for practice. It just so happens that my principal was driving the van and didn't see me. I almost passed out; I was freaked out that much.

Name: Mark "Hot Sauce" Rednour

Hometown: Strongsville, OH

Major: Marketing

Favorite drink: Frosty Cino

Favorite cross country course: Wilmington

Favorite movie: Free Willy 3: The Rescue

Favorite running quote: "Remember to bring your green books" - Chip Wilson

Crazy running story: Once while running through a cornfield, I saved the whole team from inevitable disaster by fighting off a pack of mutant velociraptors from space with a sword I made from a bag of trail mix.